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Bullying

Turves Green Boys’ School prides itself on being a friendly school, where pupils and staff work together to achieve the best possible outcomes. However, we must not be complacent in thinking that there are never any instances of bullying. Bullying occurs in all environments and all schools are likely to have some problem with bullying at one time or another. It is essential that pupils feel safer in school and are able to discuss any incidences where they feel victimised, knowing that it will be dealt with.  We have a zero tolerance approach to bullying and any reported incidents are taken very seriously.

Mr Paddy Allaway, Senior Lead for Safeguarding, leads on anti-bullying within the school. If you ever have concerns regarding how a situation has been dealt with by staff then please contact Mr Allaway directly. Also, if you have any suggestions on how to improve our anti-bullying work within the school then please contact him on p.allaway@tgbs.co.uk.

We are a TELLING school.

This means that anyone who knows or suspects that bullying is taking place is encouraged to tell a member of staff and we promise it WILL be investigated.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is behaviour by an individual or group, repeated over time, that intentionally hurts another individual or group either physically or emotionally. Bullying can take many forms including physical, verbal, psychological and cyberbullying (for instance, via text messages, social media or gaming, which can include the use of images and video).

Bullying, especially if left unaddressed, can have a devastating effect on individuals. It can be a barrier to their learning and have serious consequences for their mental health. Bullying which takes place at school does not only affect an individual during childhood but can have a lasting effect on their lives well into adulthood.

How do we educate our students in relation to bullying?

From their arrival in Year 7, students are given the very clear message that any form of bullying or unpleasant behaviour is neither welcome nor tolerated at Turves Green Boys’ School.  This is reiterated in assemblies, in Form Time sessions groups and through the curriculum, particularly in subjects such as PSHE and Religious Studies.

Turves Green Boys’ School creates an ethos of positive behaviour where students treat one another and the school staff with respect because they know that this is the right way to behave. The school values reinforce respect for others and this fundamental aspect of school life permeates all areas of the school curriculum.

We frequently talk to students about issues of difference in lessons, assemblies, Form time sessions and flexible Learning Days.  Every year we hold an anti-bullying week in November and mark National Safer Internet Day in February. We hold regular student voice surveys to ensure that our students feel safe and are able to always tell us if they are worried about bullying.

A key part of the school's approach to anti-bullying is the formation of the Safeguarding Committee, a student led group of Turves Green Boys’ School Anti-Bullying Ambassadors. The group has received external training and are supported in meetings with the Mental Health Lead, Tina Boyce. The Anti-Bullying Ambassadors have been introduced at Turves Green Boys’ School as a way to support our students tackle bullying and improve anti-bullying practice at school. This is based on the belief that the key to tackling bullying effectively is to empower and engage young people in Anti-Bullying work. Examples of their work include leading in form assemblies, creating resources for Form time and holding drop in sessions for fellow students to discuss concerns if they are being bullied.

Is my son being bullied?

Your child may not tell you that he is being bullied. However, you may notice some changes in his or her behaviour, including:

 • unwillingness to go to school

• feeling unwell, often with a headache

 • irritability

• anxiety

 • aggression towards you or others in your family

• spending more time alone

• bedwetting

• waking in the night

• missing or damaged belongings

What should I do if my child is being bullied?

If you suspect your child is being bullied, don’t ignore it.  Find a quiet time to talk to your son and explain that bullying is always unacceptable and that no one should have to put up with it. Promise to do all you can to stop it. SPEAK TO THE SCHOOL AS SOON AS YOU CAN. Speaking to your sons Head of Year is often the best place to start. Mr Paddy Allaway, Senior Lead for Safeguarding, leads on anti-bullying within the school. If you ever have concerns regarding how a situation has been dealt with by staff then please contact Mr Allaway directly.

Useful tips for the conversation:

• Decide what you want to say and what you’d like to achieve from the conversation before you go.

• Try to stay calm even though you may feel upset and emotional.

 • Don’t blame staff - we may have been unaware of any issue.

• Give specific examples of how your child is being bullied.

What to do if your child is a bully

If you have just found out or suspect your child has been bullying others, it is likely to be a shock and you may be at a loss on what steps to take. It is important to remain calm and not react in anger or frustration.

Find out all the facts

Your first reaction might be shock or anger that your son is being accused of bullying. It is important to calmly listen to what the school has to say about it and ask for as much information you can on the incidents. It is a completely natural reaction to want to defend your son, but you need to address the facts first.

Talking to your child

At some point, sooner rather than later, you will need to have a chat with your child about this. It is really important that you are calm and get their side of their story. Do not go in angry or they may shut off and not want to talk. Find out how they felt, what lead up to these incidents and what they feel would help to resolve this. Explore the feelings of the person who has been bullied and ask your child how they think they would be feeling. Get them to put their feet in their shoes to understand the impact of bullying and how it can cause long term issues.

Letting your child know to expect some form of sanctions or consequences is essential too and remind them that this could impact on their future choices. 

What could be behind their behaviour?

Sometimes, changes or difficulties in a child's life could be behind a child behaving in a negative way. Has there been changes in the family recently, a bereavement or conflict perhaps? Maybe they have experienced bullying or a need to belong in a certain friendship group. They may have unresolved feelings due to an upset or emotional issue which needs addressing. Whatever the cause may be, it is important to try and delve behind the behaviour to find out the root cause and help them find another way to deal with this, whether this is through counselling, support or an activity where they may be helping others. Turves Green Boys School can help with this and we have a dedicated Mental Health Team including a school councillor who may be able to help.

 

What is Cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying is when a person or group of people use modern technology, such as the internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to deliberately cause upset to someone by threatening, harassing, abusing or teasing them.

Cyber bullying can include:

• texting offensive or rude messages by mobile phone

 • sending unpleasant or personal photographs by mobile phone

 • using online message boards, chat rooms or social networking sites to post cruel messages

 • deleting the victim’s name from, or ignoring their messages on, social networking sites

 Research suggests that cyber bullying is common among teenagers - at least one in five has been a victim of it. The practice is becoming more widespread. A major difference between cyber bullying and other types of bullying is that the cyber bully can follow your child into the house, even into his or her bedroom. Another disturbing aspect of cyber bullying is that the victim often feels there’s nowhere to hide.

What should I do if my child is being cyber bullied?

If you suspect your child is being cyber bullied, don’t ignore it, it is not as easy as telling them to simply ‘log off’. Consider the following approaches:

 • Be aware of your child’s internet activity.

• Try to understand the technology and communication networks your child uses.

• Ask your child to show you any nasty messages he or she receives.

• Tell your child never to respond to an abusive text message - what the cyber bully most wants is a reply.

• Speak to staff especially if other students at the school are involved. Even if they aren’t, we will still be able to advise you on the best course of action and can help your son with any anxieties he might have.

• Discourage use of the internet in private spaces where adults are not present to monitor what is going on.

• Ensure your child does not set up social networking IDs with inappropriate personal pictures, ages and/or descriptions.

• Report the abuse through the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) website.

 • Report the matter to the school and/or to the police depending on the circumstances.

 Could my child be a cyber bully?

No one wants to think of their child bullying other children. But cyber bullying is different from other forms of bullying, tactics can often be hidden and more subtle, so it’s sometimes difficult to detect. Cyber bullies don’t need to be bigger or more aggressive or even in the same place as the child they’re bullying. But like all bullies, they often rely on the support of bystanders - other children who observe what they’re doing and don’t challenge them. Ask your child if they’ve ever done anything online to hurt or upset anyone. It’s important to emphasise to your child that being cruel to other children and taking part in an activity that could hurt them is wrong

Cyber bullying also gives children the opportunity to bully adults. Teachers are sometimes the victims of internet messaging that undermines or ridicules them. Make sure your child is aware that these activities are unacceptable and that the school will deal harshly with the students involved.

Dealing with cyber bullying

If cyber bullying takes place in school, this will be dealt with in the same way as any other form of bullying in line with the school’s Anti-Bullying Policy. Bullying is not acceptable. Responses could include the confiscation of a mobile phone or other relevant technology, exclusion from social time, or other sanctions including exclusion from the school.

 If cyber bullying is happening outside school eg texts, calls, or social networking communication, then it would still be helpful for the school to be made aware. We would, if those involved are known/ suspected, contact the parents/carers of the other children and let them know what has been alleged. We would also explain that cyber bullying is a form of harassment and thus a matter that can be passed to the police. The police would be the correct contact for concerns of ongoing harassment when children are out of school and in the care of their parents/carers.

Preventing cyber bullying.

This is a matter which the school takes very seriously and thus we educate students about the damaging effects of this type of behaviour. Bullying and cyber bullying are covered in Learning for Life in all Year Groups in Form time, PSHE Lessons and Flexidays.

 You should advise your child:

• Not to reply to any messages they receive, as this may encourage the bullies. Advise them not to retaliate.

• Not to answer calls from withheld numbers or from numbers they do not recognise

• To keep a copy of the abusive emails, texts or messages that they receive and when these were sent.

• Never to give out any personal details on the internet such as their real name, address, age or phone number. Even telling someone which school they attend can help that person find out information about them.

• To change their online nicknames or user ID to something different.

• To consider changing their mobile number and to only give the new number to close friends.

• To block any offending user where possible from websites.

 • To contact the service provider or host (ie: the chatroom, the social network provider, or mobile operator) to inform them of what has happened, and get their advice on how to stop this happening again. The service provider may be able to block particular senders or callers (for landlines), or advise on how to change contact details, and potentially delete the accounts of those that are abusing the service. What can I do to block nuisance calls, messages, etc?

 • All UK Mobile operators have nuisance call centres set up and/or procedures in place to deal with such instances so you may wish to contact them directly (see below for contact details). Apps are available online for certain mobile phones which can be set up to block unwanted calls or texts. The caller/texter doesn’t know they’ve been blocked.

• It is normally possible to block / ignore particular users on social networking sites, which should mean the user can stop receiving unwanted comments. Users can do this from within the site. Many social network providers also enable users to pre-moderate any comments left on their profile before they are visible by others. This can help a user prevent unwanted or hurtful comments appearing on their profile for all to see. The user should also set their profile to ‘Private’, so that only those authorised by the user are able to access and see their profile.

• It is possible to block users, or change Instant Messenger IDs so the bully is not able to contact their target any more. Most providers will have information on their website about how to do this. In addition, the Instant Messenger provider can investigate and shut down any accounts that have been misused and clearly break their terms of service. The best evidence for the service provider is archived or recorded “conversations”, and most IM providers allow the user to “record” all messages.

 • It is possible to block particular email senders or the person being bullied can change their email address. The email provider will have information on their website about how to create a new account.

 • It is possible to get content taken down from video-hosting sites, though the content will need to be illegal or have broken the terms of service of the site in other ways. On YouTube, perhaps the most well-known of such sites, it is possible to report content to the site provider as inappropriate. In order to do this, you will need to create an account (this is free) and log in, and then you will have the option to ‘flag content as inappropriate’. The option to flag the content is under the video content itself.

 • Most “chat rooms” should offer the user the option of blocking or ignoring particular users. Some services may be moderated, and the moderators will warn users posting abusive comments, or take down content that breaks their terms of use. It is good practice for chat providers to have a clear and prominent reporting mechanism to enable the user to contact the service provider. Users that abuse the service can have their account deleted.

Photo images

 If images are involved in the cyber bullying, it is important to ascertain if these might be illegal or raise child protection concerns. Indecent or sexual images of children (defined as people under the age of 18) are illegal to produce, circulate or possess in the UK. These include images that children have taken of themselves or their friends, using their mobile phone or other devices.

Contact:

• Internet Watch Foundation, if the images are internet content (see www.iwf.org.uk).

• The local police, if illegal images have been taken of a child and circulated. Similarly if there is a recording of a crime, eg assault on another child, contact the local police.

Contacts for mobile phone companies

• O2: ncb@o2.com or 0844 809 0200

• Vodafone: 191 from a Vodafone phone or 0870 070 0191 (pay monthly) and 0870 077 6655 (pay as you go)

• 3: call 333 from a 3 phone or 0843 373 3333

• T-Mobile: Call 150 from a T-mobile phone or 0845 412 5000 • EE: Call 150 from an EE phone or 07953 966250

Further Information.

Young Minds: Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors. Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus. Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

Text: YM to 85258

Opening times: 24/7

The Anti-Bullying Alliance (ABA): Founded in 2002 by NSPCC and National Children's Bureau, the Anti-Bullying Alliance ABA) brings together over 100 organisations into one network to develop and share good practice across the whole range of bullying issues.

The ABA has also put together a fact sheet outlining the range of support that is available to schools and young people from the anti-bullying sector which can be accessed here. https://www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/

Kidscape: Charity established to prevent bullying and promote child protection providing advice for young people, professionals and parents about different types of bullying and how to tackle it. They also offer specialist training and support for school staff, and assertiveness training for young people. https://www.kidscape.org.uk/advice/advice-for-young-people/dealing-with-bullying/

Cyber-bullying and online safety

ChildNet International: Specialist resources for young people to raise awareness of online safety and how to protect themselves. https://www.childnet.com/

Digizen: provides online safety information for educators, parents, carers and young people. https://www.digizen.org/

Think U Know: resources provided by Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) for children and young people, parents, carers and teachers. https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/

Mental health

MindEd: Provides a free online training tool for adults. It provides simple, clear guidance on mental health and includes information on identifying, understanding and supporting children who are bullied. https://www.minded.org.uk/

Race, Religion and Nationality

Tell MAMA: Measuring Anti-Muslim Attacks (MAMA) allows people from across England to report any form of Anti-Muslim abuse, MAMA can also refer victims for support through partner agencies. https://tellmamauk.org/